Why Don’t I Dance?

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I used to love to dance. I took tap and ballet lessons when I was a munchkin. I loved going out dancing with my friends. I signed up for all of the ballroom dancing lessons in high school that I could. I’ve bought multiple DVD’s of Bellydancing for beginners.

Sadly, I never went anywhere with the lessons and the DVD’s remain unopened. Why?

I’ve been in a mental space of blocked creativity for the last 2 years. The only outlet I’ve felt comfortable using was fabric. Now, I’ve made some very beautiful things with that fabric but they’re unsatisfying. I don’t feel like I’ve been designing to my full potential, either.

Being told I was an artist several months ago shocked me. I’ve always wanted to be an artist but considered it either too flaky or too presumptuous to label myself as such. I’m just the girl who sews some, writes some, sketches some and feels drawn to oil paints and canvas. Maybe, surrounded by a family that has doctors, lawyers, engineers, animal trainers, mechanics and managers of various sorts, I didn’t think being an artist, working for myself doing something I love, was very professional.

Whatever the reason, my lack of creative action over the past 2 years has become a source of great anxiety for me. I started reading The Artist’s Way and found myself unable to do the exercises. I didn’t feel like I deserved to do it even though I occasionally had the urge to paint a tree on a hill in oil paints on my dining room wall.

I have 2 novels started, one of which will very likely be published if I can ever finish it. Why can’t I seem to write?

Starting The Writing Diet, I found myself writing more, painting more and wanting to dance. Oh, yes, dancing. Maybe it’s time to re-start The Artist’s Way and break out one of those DVD’s.

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Filed under artist, creativity, dancing, julia cameron, painting, the artists way, the writing diet

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