Today has been better. I’m in no way ready to be social (though that’s not as unusual as it may seem) but I think I’ve gotten past the worst of the grieving. I still get a gut-punch feeling when I think about the fact that I lost my favorite uncle this summer, and I still end up crying, and I expect that to go on with the people I’ve lost in the last few days. I’m still processing the fact that people I loved aren’t at the other end of a phone anymore. I know they’re in a much better place and away from the pain they were in these last few years.
Everybody processes grief differently and I’m not still if I’m sure I’ve gotten the whole grieving thing down. I’ve been told, when you start to do it often enough, you get used to it. Well, no thank you, I don’t want to get used to this yet.
I do know that my uncle was very proud of me and he would think what I’m doing now was very cool. He was always the person who thought I was cool, even when I didn’t. My grandfather would approve of me going my own way, I think, and I like to think of him watching me while I write. He might not have gotten what I’m writing but he would have been proud of me for doing it.
So, writing! Did I do it today?
Yes, I did! I know, I’m proud of me, too.
I started the day needing 6000 words to catch up to where I should be to complete Nanowrimo on time. I did not write enough to be “caught up” to my goal but dang it, I’m a lot closer than I was yesterday.
Words written today: 2875
Total words written: 16111
I will likely do a bit more writing before I go to bed but it’s very nearly midnight so any additional words will count towards tomorrow.